It's hard to believe that I will not be going into work for the next 12 days. Hard to believe I don't have to wake up at 6 in the morning (okay, 6:30). Hard to believe I don't have to stress out with test prep and figuring out how to deal with Maverick, Lil Miss Breakdown and the rest of my cast of characters.
Last year, winter vacation was vital. I would not have survived the year without it. I came back from my time in California re-energized and with a renewed sense of purpose. Things started to come together, and while far from ideal, I held it together from break to break, until June came around.
This year I didn't need vacation as badly. But, I need it all the same. I'm excited for the relaxation and I'm excited to get back in the classroom with some extra energy.
While this isn't technically the halfway point of the year, psychologically it is. The second week after we get back is the NYS ELA test. That's a major milestone. In February we have another week off. Then the math exam in March, another break in April... Before we know it, it's June.
More than anything, I'm looking forward to putting the tests behind me. They've plagued me this year in a way I didn't think was possible. The other day I looked over some goals I had written down for this school year. Go on regular field trips. Bring in guest speakers. Teach my students all 50 states and their capitals. While testing in no way precludes me from carrying these out, it's drain cannot be understated. That said, I intend to achieve all of the goals I set for myself. I hope the next 12 days will give me some of the energy I need to do so.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Feliz Navidad
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Gut Check Time
It's been a week since I've posted and I can't say exactly why, but I'm pretty sure that it's because of a downturn I'm experiencing. It doesn't seem so long ago that I felt a sense of euphoria. I've got this down, I thought. The kids were respectful, they were engaged, and most importantly, they were learning.
What originated as two, maybe three-year commitment in my mind was transforming. I'll definitely stay for three to five years, but after that who knows? In the back of my mind I started to toy with the idea of embracing teaching as a career. It was a big, scary, exciting change. And yet, I had found something I enjoyed doing, and seemed to do well.
Lately, I feel that feeling slipping away. Nothing as chaotic as last year takes place in my classroom this year, but there are flashes. I feel the kids tuning out. I see the kids starting to turn on one another. Name-calling, physical aggression and general disrespect seems to be popping up more and more frequently. Perhaps more so than a few unsuccessful lessons, this change in my classroom in especially disheartening.
Overall, I feel like I'm losing control. For starters, I don't think I have control of what I'm teaching these days. It's all Kaplan and NYS ELA Testing and on and on it goes. And with all that my own motivation has suffered. My planning has become somewhat rote and uninspired, and therefore my lessons have exhibited that same mundane quality. Of course, the end result is my students are pushing back and rejecting my teaching. And I don't blame them.
Luckily the test is almost over. Once it's behind me, I hope to get back on track. I hope even the math exam won't throw me off, because I'll find another way to prepare for it. Meanwhile, I have 2 weeks off starting next week, and I hope to regroup, recharge and remember how to do this job right.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
I Gave Up
I'm not proud of myself, but today I gave up. Test prep is driving me crazy. Test prep is driving the kids crazy. As the kids go crazy, they drive me even crazier.
So, when I was offered a "mass prep" (i.e. the kids watch a movie in the auditorium) the last period of the day I gave in. I didn't really need the mass prep, because even though my coverage never showed up in the morning, I didn't miss out because I was being covered by another prep teacher to be in a meeting. I shouldn't have really taken the prep, because I haven't had the timeto teach what I need teach. But, that didn't stop me from taking the kids down to the auditorium when 2:10 rolled around.
Basically, I copped out. I'm exhausted and stressed as the ELA approaches. And on days like today, with Lil' Miss Meltdown and Maverick operating at their worst (and a couple of the more minor characters to be introduced later), I just needed to cut my losses and get out alive. Hopefully tomorrow I can get back on track.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Progress Check
With my second year going infinitely better than my first, it can sometimes be easy to lose perspective. Every bad day can be forgotten by simply reminding myself, "This day would still be better than my best day last year." It's a nice way to cheer myself up, but not the best way to push myself and grow as a teacher. Of course I would never let one of my more proficient readers rest on their laurels. It's funny how we teachers can sometimes practice the same bad habits we begrudge in our students.
So, what can I do better? My classroom management has come a long way, but is hardly perfect. I would like to be more consistent with rules and consequences. Even though my class set some clear expectations, rules and consequences in September, I notice myself improvising consequences more often than not. Sometimes it feels easier to just repeat a verbal warning than continue along the continuum of consequences. However, I worry if I'm getting myself into trouble with this strategy.
Perhaps more importantly, I'd like to improve my lesson planning. My lessons are definitely well planned and thought out. I've improved my pacing (but could still work on it) and I include opportunities for student collaboration. I even manage to differentiate for learning styles more often than not. That said, I need to expand my bag of tricks and seek out original lessons. While my lessons are well planned, well placed and well differentiated, they are more or less the same lessons week in, week out. It's time to throw some new lessons into the mix if not to keep the students guessing, then to save myself from boredom.
It's nice to revel in the relative ease of my second year, but it will feel even better if I can look back on this year and say I've grown even more.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Classroom Cancer
Every class I know of has its Maverick. Last year I dubbed this student ALP and when I was in the 4th grade his name was Wilbur. These are the students whose sole purpose seems to be to disrupt, annoy and torment their teacher and classmates. While their presence is universal, the amount of damage they do can vary from class to class.
In the best case scenario the child is slowly but surely socialized. This is a rare, but special instance. Perhaps the teacher is a seasoned veteran or just especially ingenious. Perhaps the child undergoes some sort of breakthrough (change in home life or special ed designation). Or maybe it's just a miracle.
More commonly the child's effect is simply contained. The student is isolated, socially and/or physically. In my own class I've had Maverick seated by himself for weeks until recently. The reaction to completely isolate a student is a last resort, but is often necessary to avoid the worst case scenario.
In the worst case scenario, the problem child doesn't just cause problems on their own. They infect the students around them and eventually the entire classroom community is contaminated. It can begin with the students' immediate friends or those sitting right near them, but it can certainly snowball until there is a virulent undercurrent of fighting and disrespect. (If this sounds like exaggeration feel free to re-read my posts from October 2007. ALP was the classic classroom cancer.)
The power of a classroom cancer comes to mind lately as I wrestle with the obnoxious (at best) and deeply disrespectful (at worst) misbehavior of Maverick. With a new seating chart I gave him the chance to sit with his classmates at a table. The effects have been unpleasant, but I'm determined to integrate him into the classroom community. I hope that in doing so I don't risk the health of the whole class environment.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Roland Fryer on The Colbert Report
America's truthiest pundit had Harvard economics professor Roland Fryer on his show last night to discuss his initiative to pay high school students in Chicago, New York and Washington D.C. for good grades. Whether this is straight up bribery or a clever way to incentivize academic performance is up for debate. If you ask me, with a system as broken as ours, the only bad ideas are the ones we've already tried. Watching the interview, I'm pretty sure Fryer would agree (he's got a couple of other tricks up his sleeve in the mean time). For now, the program is only in its infancy, so for now it's too early to tell if it's effective.
And just for good measure, two more Esquire stories on Roland here and here.
